I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
