You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
