it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
