Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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