As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
