seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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