did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
