this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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