this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
