with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
