But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
