What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
