I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
