I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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