the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
