Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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