Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i think i have herpe
just one?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
