Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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