you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
did i just pee glitter
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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