No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize