Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
