Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
