i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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