i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
