You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
