my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
