Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize
