Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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