Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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