Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
