I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Liz is crying about burritos again.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
