i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
