You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
