dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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