Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
