belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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