Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
