How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
