Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
