Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
