So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
