well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
