so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
