So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My ass is underappreciated
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
