No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
