If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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