Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
