help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
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