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strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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