So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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