I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
